Saturday, April 20, 2013

The DeanBear Manifesto (Part 2)

Yes, I thought that I explained myself in the the original manifesto, but I have, in the words of George Carlin, ”I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.”  This explains some of them.
Clothes whores…I am pretty much a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy.  Yes, jeans and t-shirts all the time.  Work, shopping, visiting the family, going to my therapist, going to a social event.  Jeans and t-shirts.  The only time I get into any kind of semblance of getting dressed up, it’s a major life changing event.  Like getting me married, going out to dinner to celebrate my sister’s anniversary, going to a funeral. I don’t “dress for success.”  I am very much a blue collar guy, I don’t give a flying fuck if you shop at Abercrombie & Fitch, Urban Outfiitters, Areopostale, or any other “trendy” clothing store.  Guess what, you’re paying too much for clothing.  Most of the time, I buy my clothes at Walmart.  (There was a time in the early 2000’s when I shopped at Old Navy, but I got over it.) When I am at work, it’s the company t-shirt and jeans that I bought from Ollie’s.  (Heavy duty carpenter jeans that were cheap and wear well, and have pockets that I can put my utility knife, marker, and pen into.  I clip my two-way radio and my tape measure to my beat ass belt.)  For those who look down at me for not being “trendy,”  FUCK YOU!
The news media…with the recent tragedies in Boston and West, Texas, the news channels are creaming all over themselves with the blood and carnage that has happened.  Tragedy is NOT entertainment.  It is what it is, people being injured and dying because some sick fucks decide to take a happy occasion and “make a statement,” or a company not taking basic safety precautions.  To quote Don Henley’s “Dirty Laundry:”  ”We got the bubble headed bleach blonde who comes on at five… She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye.”  The fucking mainstream media is a joke, all they are doing is pandering to a public that feeds off pain and suffering.
Fan boys…I posted this on my Facebook timeline about five hours before the Boston Marathon bombings:
”Finally home after the company meeting...the worst part was sitting right across from me on the OCC cattlecar...a full-blown Doctor Who nerd...t-shirt with Matt Smith on it, Dalek buttons on his fedora, and he carried a replica of a SONIC-FUCKING-SCREWDRIVER in his coat...guess he was an OCC student. He's lucky I was listening to George Carlin's "You're All Diseased" on my smartphone. I caught the tag end of his conversation with another OCC cattle, he was prattling on about how he is gonna make a Doctor Who fan film and put it on YouTube...fer chrissakes, I have flirted with fandom myself (I was a proto-Trekkie) but this guy, hands down, was a total winner/loser in the nerd sweepstakes. OMFG...I am so glad that I am home, being exposed to that much nerdiness makes me wanna hurl.”  Pretty self-explanatory, yes?

Okay, I have ranted enough…maybe I will have more rants in the future, but I had to get this off my chest…this is DeanBear signing off.
©2013, Mattydale Pictures Television, all rights reserved.

Friday, February 08, 2013

The DeanBear Manifesto


Most of the time, people on Facebook and in real life see me as this slightly off-kilter middle-aged gay man.  That is not who I am.   Just like Transformers, there’s more than meets the eye.

  • I am a linear thinker.  I am the guy who reads the directions when confronted by a piece of equipment, a product that needs assembling, how to prepare food.  Directions are there for a reason, to ensure that you can use the equipment effectively, that the product is assembled to specs, and how the food comes out palatable. 
  • I am adaptable.  Sometimes there comes a time where I do have to “think outside the box” when confronted by an issue that I haven’t dealt with before. 
  • I am not afraid to ask someone to help me with a problem, whether it is personal or professional.  I am not the type of person to “suck it up and hope for the best.”  Usually, there is someone who has dealt with that problem before, and can propose a solution. 
  • I can be impatient when confronted by people who are and continue to be clueless. 
  • I am not afraid of modern technology, as a matter of fact, I embrace it.   Modern technology has made things a lot easier for us as a whole.  Yes there are people in the world who don’t have the advantages of modern technology that we do here in America, but the rest of the world is catching up. 
  • Yes, I smoke and drink.  That is personal choice on my part.  I don’t let other people shame me into changing my behavior.  If I feel a change is needed, I will make the decision to change. 
  • I am open about my sexuality.  I came out of the closet 14 years ago, and it was worth it.  Some people are uncomfortable about it, but that is who I am.  Look beyond the fact that I am married to a man, and look at me for what I am, a productive member of society.
  • I am a pragmatist.  I do not speculate, I do not use blind faith to make choices.  I need facts to make decisions.  I don’t believe in something until I have proof that I should believe in it.  I am an advertiser’s worst nightmare.  I don’t buy a product because someone says it will make my life better.  I have to believe that it will have some benefit to me.
  • Yes, I have a smartphone (but not an iPhone, I haven’t tasted the Apple Kool-Aid.)  It’s a useful device, but I am not addicted to it.  I am not on Facebook constantly when I am mobile.  As a matter of fact, when I am at work I turn off my phone (per company policy.)  If someone really needs to get hold of me, I have an emergency contact number they can call.  Otherwise, leave a voicemail or a text. 
  • I am an atheist.  I stopped believing in a “higher power” a long time ago.  Religion is a construct made by men,  to sway the thoughts of the masses into believing that there is something more beyond the mortal plane, and to force people to do something that antithetical to human nature.  Look at all the wars that have been started “in the name of God.”  (If you want a science-fiction take on that, read “Dune,” the classic science-fiction novel by Frank Herbert.  It’s a good read, and it does give you a glimpse into what happens when dogmatic faith comes into play into shaping society.)
  • Yes, I respect other people’s right to worship.  It’s all about personal choice.  I am not going to deride someone for believing in a “higher power.”  Just as long as you don’t try to cram your religion down my throat, I won’t show contempt for your beliefs. 

Now, some of my pet peeves.  Be afraid, be very afraid.

  • People who talk in a loud voice on their cellphones on the cattlecar (aka public transit.)  Listen, assholes…I don’t want to hear you arguing with someone, or bitching about your baby’s daddy, or about the problems you’re having with social services.  Talk in a normal voice. 
  • People who obsess about things.  Like Trekkies.  I like Star Trek.  I watch the re-runs once in a while.  I liked the JJ Abrams reboot.  But I don’t let it define my life.  (Full disclosure:  I do have autographed photos of John DeLancie (Q) and William Campbell (The Squire of Gothos/Koloth) but that was back when I was a proto-Trekkie.)  And DON’T get me started on Star Wars fandom…I know that Han shot first.  End of discussion.
  • Contemporary music.  Let’s face it, I am a classic rock animal.  I would rather listen to Pat Benetar over Lady Gaga, Carly Rae Jepsen, or Katy Perry (although Firework is a very uplifting song.)  Justin Bieber?  I would rather to listen to The Prodigy’s “Smack My Bitch Up.”
  • The “iPhone/iPad” culture.  Let’s face it, assholes.  You’re locked into an ecosystem that is defined by ONE VENDOR (Apple.)  They have locked you into an endless upgrade cycle.  That is why my husband and I have Android phones.  If we decide to change to a different device, there is more than one choice out there.  We have phones made by HTC.  But I may change to phones made by Samsung (which I like) or Motorola, or LG.  I want the choice. 
  • “Foodies.”  My philosophy on food is, if I can eat it without throwing up, it’s a win.  To me, food is fuel.  I keep my dietary choices simple.  I am happy eating a big bowl of Corn Chex and some toast in the morning.  I don’t need a complicated omelet.   That is why I don’t watch FoodTV.

This is a glimpse into the mind of DeanBear.  Are you still sane?


© 2013, Mattydale Pictures Television, all rights reserved.


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

2012: The Year Of The Gun

Okay, I am really not going to say much in this post, considering on this Christmas Eve, 2012 I have just killed a twelve pack of Samuel Adams Boston Lager.   All I have to say is that we really have lost our collective mind.   Killings in Aurora, CO.  Killings in Newtown, CT.  Killings in Webster, NY.  How much of this are we going to have to put up with before we as a collective community will say “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?”
Now, I am not going to take the left-wing line that all guns should be regulated, nor I will take the right-wing line that all guns should be free, but fer crying out loud…can’t we reach a compromise?
I have no problem whatsoever with someone saying that they would like a handgun or a shotgun in the house for personal protection.  In our violent times, we unfortunately have to deal with this.  But do we really need a semi-automatic AR-15 or an AK-47 knockoff?  There is only one use for an AR-15 or an AK-47…to kill people.  These were weapons created to be used in war, plain and simple.
There are some people who are so totally enslaved to the “Second Amendment” that they cannot read the real reason that it was created. 

As passed by the Congress and ratified by the States in 1791:

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.
This was written 221 years ago.  We didn’t have automatic and/or semi-automatic weapons then…it was pretty much single shot muskets. 
But those were different times…America was trying to shake off the yoke of religious repression from England…and the Brits didn’t want to give up what they thought was their “possession.”  So they had to be able to arm the common citizen to defend what they established, to defend the new republic.  And they had to use the weapons that were available for the period.
Fast forward to 2012…who in the hell are we defending against?  We have one of the most technologically advanced military forces that we can deploy at a moment’s notice.  Do we really need to allow the right-wing to constantly hammer us with the Second Amendment just to satisfy some pathological need to justify owning semi/automatic weapons in the off chance that someone will land on our shores and wage war against our great nation? 
Question:  Would have that stopped 9/11? 
Answer:  Nope.
9/11 happened because of a charismatic leader who had the ability to sway men’s minds into performing suicide acts.  They had no will whatsoever.  In the hands of a master manipulator, they became weapons.  They were willing to commit suicide because someone warped their minds into believing that they were going to paradise. Just a 21st century version of the kamikaze bombers, but they had no regard for the lives of the others who became nothing more than cannon fodder to their “path to paradise.
After 9/11, the NRA stepped up their efforts to prevent any kind of regulation for assault weapons.   It was a panic move by a fringe element that was convinced that the end of days was near,  But it wasn’t.  Because of learning about new security screening procedures (and we have to thank the Israeli government for that) it is safer to fly in American airspace than ever before.  But it doesn’t address the problem of assault weapons. 
I don’t have a solution for the assault weapon problem. Like I said before, I have no problem with someone owning a weapon for personal protection.  I have no problem with someone owning a shotgun or a high-powered rifle for hunting (we as a species have fucked up the balance of nature so much that it is up to us to restore that balance.)  But what hunter NEEDS an assault weapon for hunting?  Many people that I know who do hunt deride these Second Amendment nutjobs.  They take the sport of hunting and piss on it.
So, Dean Bear's position on assault weapons…in the hands of private citizens, no.  In the hands of trained professionals (police and the military…) yes.
Now I don’t want to paint all the members of the NRA with a big brush of tar, most of the membership are hard-working middle-class people who hunt, and teach responsible gun ownership.  It’s just people like Wayne LaPierre (Executive Vice President of the NRA)  and David Keene (President of the NRA) who use politics and money to advance their agenda (on behalf of gun manufacturers) who are the stumbling blocks in any kind of real reform.
I’m going to close out with a quote from Dennis Miller:
"Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong."

© 2012, Mattydale Pictures Television, all rights reserved.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Two Weeks…

Here I am, sitting at my computer, listening to music on Spotify, and I am thinking about what will happen in two weeks.  Yes, I will be married to Dan.  We have our marriage license, all the plans have been made…and I still have butterflies in my stomach.  What really cemented it for me is the wedding that he and I went to on Friday.  Two people that he and I have known for a long time tied the knot (Jim and Charlene Baleno,) and we were invited to their wedding.  We had a great time, and it made me realize that couples NEED to be together.  When my ex-supervisor Richie Parsons married his long-time lover Lori, I finally knew it was time for me and Dan to tie the knot.  When you find someone who cares about you…grab them and hold on with every breath of your being.  Yes, I am scared shitless mainly because this is one of the biggest steps I have taken in my life.  But…I know that it will all work out.  Dan and I have been together for 12 years, and this is just another step in our lives.  Three house moves, medical crises, and other assorted bullshit things…we’re still together.  I love him.  He could have bailed out at any time, but he didn’t. 

Sunday, June 03, 2012

Ruminations on a Saturday Night


Here I am, on a Saturday night, a little over a month to go before that Dan and I get married.  I’m on Dan’s laptop, I have Alien Resurrection on the SyFy Channel on the big screen HDTV, sitting in the living room.  And the only thing that I can think about is the people who won’t be at my wedding.

My mom:  My mother knew that I was gay before I even came out of the closet.   I came out in 1999, five years after she had died.  But if she were alive now (and she would be 82,) she would accept Dan as her son-in-law. I know for a fact that she would be proud that I was finally able to live my own life.

Interlude:  Watching Ripley #8 killing all her sister clones…tragic and sad.

My brother-in-law Jim:  He He surprisingly, was very accepting of the choices that I made in my life…he didn’t shun me, he didn’t insult me, he just was there.  He and I used to fish together (when I was still into fishing,) he got me stoned for the first time in my life, he gave me a kick in the ass when I needed it the most.  And he loved Dan, because he KNEW that Dan was the person who would give me a reason to move forward.

Interlude:  Watching the crew of the Betty break into the egg chamber.  Scary as fuck!

My brother Dennis:  He is dead to me.  he has done so much damage to our family that he can never be forgiven.  He has threatened to harm myself, my siblings, and others that he has become a non-person.  He is scum.

My ex-brother-in-law Dennis (Missy’s ex-husband:)  One of the most racist, misogynistic, homophobic assholes in the world.  He treated my sister Missy like shit, he brutalized his children, and after he and he and Missy were divorced, married a fat fucking dumb racist and homophobic c**t, who would be a fucking slave to him.  I hate women like that.

Interlude:  The crew of the Betty finds out that Call is a second-generation android and she patches into the Auriga’s computer to crash it into Earth.

My bosses:  I sent them invitations to my wedding as a matter of form.  I didn’t expect them to accept, they are from a different social strata than I am.

Interlude:  The crew of the Betty are escaping to the Betty:  Ripley senses the queen.  DeanBear goes for coffee.

And now, the people who I have invited to my wedding…

Mickey and Julie Barden:  They are the constants in my life at Empire State Container.  Julie knew I was gay the second that she talked to me.  And she is a big help since I got my dentures (given that she is also a denture wearer.)  Mick and I took a while to warm up together, but I have a helluva lot of respect for him.  He talked to me before he bought a new computer, asked my advice on what he should buy, and I helped him set it up.

Interlude:  CHESTBURSTER SCENE!  And the chief scientist explains it all!

Shit, lit the filter end of my cigarette…

And there are others at work who I invited to my wedding…Dominic…Kaileigh…Marty…Chris (my supervisor.)  These people mean something to me, they deserve the choice to come to my wedding or not.

And some ex-employees, such as Tammy (who can be a bigger bitch than some drag queens that I know,) and Charlene, who busted her ass for me when I was suspended for pot smoking, and again busted her ass to dig out some old 401k records when I needed to take money out so I could manage the down payment on my house.  Inviting them is a no-brainer…they helped me become what I am today.

Interlude:  Ripley escapes to the Betty.

In closing, I have gone through a lot of crap in my life, and there are people who I want to share my wedding with, and people who I don’t want to share it with.  There are some people who will not be there that I wish could be, and some people who I couldn’t care less if they were not there.   That day will be for the ones who I care about, such as my friends, and my family. 

Picture 002


© 2012, Mattydale Pictures LLC, all rights reserved.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

What A Difference A Year Makes…

blogphoto 001On March 11, 2011, a 9.1-magnitude earthquake and tsunami hit the east coast of Japan.  I pretty much had a front-row seat for it due to the fact that I was flat on my ass in the hospital fighting a bacterial infection on the site of a previous hernia repair.   Because I was restricted to my hospital bed, I had cable TV and my smartphone (which I just got the previous month) to keep up with the world at large.  When the news of the earthquake hit in Japan, I was glued to CNN.  I couldn’t stop thinking of the horror of it all, and it got worse when the Fukushima nuclear power plants suffered catastrophic meltdowns (the second largest after the 1986 Chernobyl incident.)

DeanBear in the Hospital March 2011

A lot has happened in the year since then.  Despite the tragedy in Japan, life has pretty much gone on as normal (and that is a subjective term, considering how fucked up the world at large is.)  Some of the notable events since that day in March have been (and these were what I noticed: )

The Arab Spring movement ramps up, and the Middle East is thrown into major turmoil. The King of Bahrain declares a three month state of emergency to quell civil unrest.  The United Nations Security Council creates a no-fly zone in Libya to prevent government aggression against civilians.  (This pretty much gives the United States, France, and Great Britain permission to post aircraft carriers off the coast of Libya in the Mediterranean Sea, and a hunting license to shoot down Libyan military aircraft.)

Academy Award winning actress and AIDS activist Elizabeth Taylor dies at age 79.  liztaylor


Michael Gough (who played Alfred in the “Batman” movies from 1989 to 1997) dies at the age of 94. 


Geraldine Ferraro, former member of the U.S. House of Representatives from New York’s 9th district, and became a candidate for Vice-President in 1984 (the first Italian-American and woman to be nominated for the office) dies at age 75.

Prince William gets married, and the whole fucking world goes royal-crazy (my partner included.)  I personally didn’t give a shit except for the fact that it FUCKING DOMINATED Twitter, Facebook, all the news sites, and television.  This photo that I posted to my Facebook page was an example of what pissed me off:

I mean, come on.  WTF?  SRSLY?  I click on a link in Yahoo News and expect to see a photo of the shuttle Endeavour on the launch pad and I get a photo of Kate and Willie?

Terrorist Osama Bin Laden is killed by Seal Team Six at a stronghold in Pakistan at the age of 54.

Jeff Conaway, who was in the 1978 movie version of “Grease,” and starred on the TV series “Taxi” and “Babylon 5,” dies at the age of 60. 

Professional wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage dies at the age of 58.

The Marriage Equality Act is passed in New York State, allowing for same-sex marriages. 
Jack Kevorkian,  assisted-suicide activist, dies of natural causes at the age of 83.

Peter Falk, Syracuse University graduate who entertained the world as Lt. Colombo, dies at the age of 83.

The Marriage Equality Act takes effect in New York State. 
Personal note: My partner Dan and I make plans to be married on July 7th, 2012.
The Space Shuttle Atlantis lands at Kennedy Space Center, thus ending the space shuttle program.  The U.S. now relies on the Russian Soyuz program for future flights to the International Space Station.

Anders Behring Breivik, a Norwegian right-wing extremist, bombed government buildings in Oslo, Norway, killing eight people and injuring 92.  He then proceeded to carry out a mass shooting at a youth camp on the island of Utoya, killing 69 campers and injuring 59.  It has become known as the worst spree killing by an individual.

Betty Ford, former First Lady and founder of the substance abuse rehabilitation center that bears her name, dies at the age of 93.

British singer Amy Winehouse dies at the age of 27.  (Honestly, who didn’t see this train wreck coming?)
Personal note: I finally get a new computer system!  An AMD Phenom II X3 (triple-core CPU) with 8 Gb of memory, a 1.5 Tb hard disk, BD player/DVD burner, running Windows 7 Professional.  I add a dual-output NVidia GeForce graphics card (I am writing this blog on one screen while I am doing research on another.)
Libyan rebels take control of Tripoli, sending Muammar Gaddafi on the run. 
The Occupy Wall Street protests begin, which spirals out into the Occupy movement.  It is basically a backlash against the 1% who control the nation’s wealth and are considered the real villains in the wrecking of the U.S. economy.
Cliff Robertson, Academy Award winner in 1968 for his role in the movie “Charly” and was known for his appearances as John F. Kennedy in the film “PT 109” and “Uncle Ben” in the first three “Spider-Man” movies, dies at the age of 88.
Welsh actor Andy Whitfield, star of the Starz TV series “Spartacus: Blood and Sand,” dies of non-Hodgkin lymphoma at the age of 39.
Muammar Gaddafi, despotic ruler of Libya, is captured and killed by anti-Gaddafi forces near his hometown of Sirte, at the age of 69.
Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple Computer, NeXT, and Pixar, and one of the key people in the personal computer revolution, dies at the age of 56.
Anne McCaffrey, Hugo and Nebula Award winning science-fiction author, member of the Science Fiction Hall of Fame, and creator of “The Dragonriders of Pern” series of novels, dies at the age of 85.
Joe Frazer, former World Heavyweight Champion boxer, known for his matches with Muhammad Ali and George Foreman, dies at the age of 67.
joe f
Ken Russell, British film director best known for the film adaptation of The Who’s rock opera “Tommy” in 1975, dies at the age of 84.
The United States has formally declared the Iraq War over after eight years.
Kim Jong-il, leader of North Korea, dies at the age of 70.
Harry Morgan, who was known for his roles on “Dragnet” as “Joe Gannon” and “M*A*S*H” as “Colonel Sherman Potter,” dies at the age of 96.
R&B, blues, and jazz singer Etta James dies at the age of 73.
Queen Elizabeth II celebrates her Diamond Jubilee, the 60th anniversary to her accession to the throne of the United Kingdom.
Emmy Award winning actor and director Ben Gazzara dies at the age of 81.
Multilple award winning singer and actress Whitney Houston dies at the age of 48.
Davy Jones, best known as the lead vocalist for The Monkees, dies at age 66.
The “Kony 2012” campaign begins, which is shadowed in controversy. 
What was the point of this blog entry?  Basically, no matter what happens to you in your life, the world DOES NOT revolve around you.  Things happen that really don’t have a bearing on your life, unless it DIRECTLY AFFECTS YOU!  (The case in point, same-sex marriage being passed in New York state.  That has affected me personally.)
Life goes on without you…deal with it.


© 2012, Mattydale Pictures LLC, all rights reserved.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

2011, The Year That America Lost It’s Collective Mind

New year, new blog entry…where to begin?
Okay, to start I celebrated my first year as a homeowner.  I have been keeping up with the mortgage payments and all the other bills that are incidental.  Dan and I are happy that we have a place to call our own.  It’s been interesting, learning how to be responsible about people and your place in the world.
The rebuilding of connections with my family continues.  For a long time, I isolated myself from them, but because of tragedy in my family (the death of my brother-in-law Jim,)  I have been able to reconnect with my sisters.  (My brother is a lost cause, he chose to separate himself from our family.)  My sister Melissa is a big part of my life now, and we are now talking more and more.  She’s reached a transition phase in her life, and she calls me on the phone to sound off about things that she needs to get off her chest.  I am glad to help, but whatever path she needs to take, it has to be her decision.
My Job:
In July, we went to the monthly company meeting, and one of the owners floored us with the news that he and the other owner had sold the company to an employee-owned company.  Pretty much everyone went into panic mode at the news, but I took a more pragmatic approach to it.  Business in general is in a freefall, and sometimes aligning with a larger company can help everyone in the long run.  I did my research into the company that we became a part of,  and I like what is going to happen to us.  But of course, there are cynical assholes that I work with who try to piss on everyone’s mood.  I am cynical, but I temper it with a healthy dose of pragmatism.  I am willing to see how things shake themselves out. 
Poly = many.
Tics = blood-sucking parasites.
This is the year of many blood-sucking parasites in American politics.  The total clusterfuck leading up to the GOP primaries has been a study in misspeaking, revelations of skeletons in the closet, and just a general WTF about everything that proves that American politics are CORRUPT!  And it has been on the Republican side.  I can’t wait to see how the Democrats fuck things up even worse.  And yes, I even posted a video about the Republican clusterfuck on YouTube (and I admit that I was half in the bag when I did it.)
The “Occupy” Movement:
I cannot fault these people for bringing attention to the vast inequality that exists in America today.  I am one of the 99%, I struggle with bills, I have to keep managing a decent way of life with the money that I have coming in, (and I count myself lucky because I live in a two-income household.)  If I didn’t have a fucked-up work schedule, I would help them in any way I could.  I lived through “Reaganomics ,” and it was a walk in the park compared to what we have today.  All I have to say is, I hope the hell you can effect change, we need it.

(As for the title of this blog entry, I am paraphrasing Sir Arthur C. Clarke, the author of 2001: A Space Odyssey and 2010: The Year We Make Contact.)

My sister Melissa’s blog:

© 2012, Mattydale Pictures, LLC, all right reserved.