Saturday, April 20, 2013

The DeanBear Manifesto (Part 2)

Yes, I thought that I explained myself in the the original manifesto, but I have, in the words of George Carlin, ”I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.”  This explains some of them.
Clothes whores…I am pretty much a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy.  Yes, jeans and t-shirts all the time.  Work, shopping, visiting the family, going to my therapist, going to a social event.  Jeans and t-shirts.  The only time I get into any kind of semblance of getting dressed up, it’s a major life changing event.  Like getting me married, going out to dinner to celebrate my sister’s anniversary, going to a funeral. I don’t “dress for success.”  I am very much a blue collar guy, I don’t give a flying fuck if you shop at Abercrombie & Fitch, Urban Outfiitters, Areopostale, or any other “trendy” clothing store.  Guess what, you’re paying too much for clothing.  Most of the time, I buy my clothes at Walmart.  (There was a time in the early 2000’s when I shopped at Old Navy, but I got over it.) When I am at work, it’s the company t-shirt and jeans that I bought from Ollie’s.  (Heavy duty carpenter jeans that were cheap and wear well, and have pockets that I can put my utility knife, marker, and pen into.  I clip my two-way radio and my tape measure to my beat ass belt.)  For those who look down at me for not being “trendy,”  FUCK YOU!
The news media…with the recent tragedies in Boston and West, Texas, the news channels are creaming all over themselves with the blood and carnage that has happened.  Tragedy is NOT entertainment.  It is what it is, people being injured and dying because some sick fucks decide to take a happy occasion and “make a statement,” or a company not taking basic safety precautions.  To quote Don Henley’s “Dirty Laundry:”  ”We got the bubble headed bleach blonde who comes on at five… She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye.”  The fucking mainstream media is a joke, all they are doing is pandering to a public that feeds off pain and suffering.
Fan boys…I posted this on my Facebook timeline about five hours before the Boston Marathon bombings:
”Finally home after the company meeting...the worst part was sitting right across from me on the OCC cattlecar...a full-blown Doctor Who nerd...t-shirt with Matt Smith on it, Dalek buttons on his fedora, and he carried a replica of a SONIC-FUCKING-SCREWDRIVER in his coat...guess he was an OCC student. He's lucky I was listening to George Carlin's "You're All Diseased" on my smartphone. I caught the tag end of his conversation with another OCC cattle, he was prattling on about how he is gonna make a Doctor Who fan film and put it on YouTube...fer chrissakes, I have flirted with fandom myself (I was a proto-Trekkie) but this guy, hands down, was a total winner/loser in the nerd sweepstakes. OMFG...I am so glad that I am home, being exposed to that much nerdiness makes me wanna hurl.”  Pretty self-explanatory, yes?

Okay, I have ranted enough…maybe I will have more rants in the future, but I had to get this off my chest…this is DeanBear signing off.
©2013, Mattydale Pictures Television, all rights reserved.